Decimals Matter

Arriving in Moab was a bit of shock. I’m glad we went when we did, as Moab is soon to be something the locals cannot be happy about. It looks like they’re trying to “Aspen” it. Construction everywhere. Mainly hotel builds. So it looks like Arches and Canyonlands are getting set for record crowds in the near future. Which is really too bad. Because it’s just fine without the Starbucks and Fro Yo.

We made the mistake of declaring that our Arches day would be light and chill. We chose a specific trail, starting with the Landscape Arch, and went from there. Getting to the Landscape and all subsequent arches included a lot of scrambling. So while fun, it was a bit more rigorous than anticipated. That coupled with Jenny’s “quiet day” meant I was largely on my own to make stupid decisions.

Speaking of stupid decisions, we were early enough to get to the Landscape Arch with relatively few people there. Except for Joanna. The rules don’t apply to Joanna and her unavoidable purple jacket. In front of the steep incline to the arch is a fence, which to most humans indicates “Hey! Stay where you are! Behind the fence, dummy. You are not special.” But just in case, a sign was posted to ensure everyone knew that going further was not kosher. I’ve been known to break the rules, but I have my limits. Not Joanna! She just has to climb up to get about 8000 selfies and even more appearances in everyone else’s photos. Thanks Joanna. You’re cool.

Arches was, let’s say, less than well marked. More than once, we found ourselves not on but well above the trail, atop rocks that made perfect trail sense, until we had to climb down in the end. Thank God younger or stronger (not necessarily younger which was fun for my ego) had to help me find my way down and / or help stop my momentum from getting down lest I run off another rock or into a tree. I attribute the kindness of strangers to a day shockingly free of injury.

The arches were really quite amazing. They defy logic. (Warning: learning time.) Recent experiments and numerical models revealed that once a critical weight from the higher parts of the sandstone was reached, the downward force locked the lower grains of sand together more tightly, increasing their resistance to erosion. In contrast, other parts of sandstone bearing less weight stayed vulnerable to erosion, and washed away. The researchers also found that introducing weaknesses, such as notches or fractures, into the sandstone cubes could yield a diversity of shapes, including arches, pillars and pedestal rocks. Awesome. And they make for amazing photo ops.

There were Awe inspiring overlooks everywhere, and even more insidious chipmunks, ground squirrels, whatever. They were swarming. Stop feeding these animals!

We were half way, or so we thought, around the Primitive Trail (when arch viewing is over) and decided to continue the loop rather than double back and reverse our scramble. Ultimately, I was happy but the rest of the hike was barren and exposed. We were nearing the end of our hiking stamina, but we had one more thing to see: The famed delicate arch.

We desperately wanted to get back to the hotel since we had figured out a way to make mac and cheese. A priority in our lives. But this would be quick. A 0.3 hike (one way) seemed doable despite being tired after an unintended 7+ mile “chill” hike. We happily abandoned our packs not needed for such a short out and back, grabbed a half bottle of Gatorade and took off.

In front of us were switchbacks (yay) and then a hike, up a steep incline of mostly rock, completely exposed to the midday sun. We soon realized (well I realized because Jenny was long gone by then) that this was not 0.3 mile hike. Nope. 3.0 miles. (Jenny did mention some mild dyslexia…) Three miles, uphill, midday in the desert with barely any water, after having already gone 7 miles was not a pleasant experience. But we trudged (I trudged, she basically sprinted) away to see in-person what had appeared on a computer screensaver years ago.

Ok. The arch was way bigger than we thought it would be. We didn’t get the typical sundown shot, but we did get a cool midday shadow. I stayed up top because if ever there was going to be a day where I tripped over my own feet and rolled down the rock towards the arch and off the cliff, it would have been that day. We did the Grand Canyon “cool” and headed back.

That was Jenny’s agenda. Mine was sunset at Dead Horse State Park. We knew that it has to be that night or not at all, since we had to pack up the next night to get to Salt Lake City for our last day and departure. Now almost 11 miles in, we sucked it up and drove on.

There’s nothing like showing up tired, hungry, and two hours early for a sunset. By this time, we had had it with the beef jerky and best gummies ever, not to mention peanut butter sandwiches that we had formally been “all about.” I tried to take a nap at the overlook but realized I was on a rock that essentially would have aided my certain demise because the rock was round, as am I, and a roll over would have been a roll downward and off. So we moved locations and waited.

Dead Horse Point Is located on the rim of the Colorado River Canyon. The views were spectacular. It was only sullied by the knowledge that this was the location of the idiotic and infamous ending to Thelma and Louise. Meek housewife Thelma (Geena Davis) joins her friend Louise (Susan Sarandon), an independent waitress, on a short fishing trip. However, their trip becomes a flight from the law when Louise shoots and kills a man who tries to rape Thelma at a bar. Louise decides to flee to Mexico, and Thelma joins her. On the way, some other stuff happens, like Brad Pitt showing up which almost made the movie tolerable. In the end, they decide that returning to Arkansas was such a dreadful option that they drove off the cliff instead. A flash decision. Were things really so bad in 1991 that this was the idea of female empowerment? Cool.

It was worth the wait. I received a message in the form of a ceramic heart on a tree telling me that what I’m doing (once back home) is far from my dream.

Jenny had inadvertently switched from an Ariel pose to Gollum. Far funnier, at least to us.

And she took a “sick” time lapse of the sunset.

The mac and cheese was delicious.

INJURY REPORT: I know why people wear long sleeves in the dead heat of summer. Other than avoiding sunburn, I assume it’s to avoid the underarm chaffing. So that’s new.

BRUISE UPDATE: 30,000 steps and nearly 12 miles later, mac and cheese was all we could manage.